


Starstruck

by manifestingwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon verse, M/M, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 07:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10329653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manifestingwings/pseuds/manifestingwings
Summary: The Winchesters were obsessed with the stars. Castiel learned this early on in his relationship with them, in the time between Lucifer’s release from the cage and his return to it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something that came to me one night, enjoy!

The Winchesters were obsessed with the stars.

Castiel learned this early on in his relationship with them, in the time between Lucifer’s release from the cage and his return to it. If one was to ask for a date, Castiel was sure he couldn’t give one. He was sure, though, that something important had happened and he had rushed to find them, the Winchesters. Despite the warding he’d carved into their ribs, they weren’t hard to locate. Their car was not exactly inconspicuous.

He’d flown to them, or at least close to them. When he landed, the boys didn’t seem to notice. It was nighttime, and they were out of their car in a field, the only men for miles around. Yet they didn’t seem to be sleeping. Castiel could not help but be curious, and he crept forward silently, escaping the notice of even those most skilled warriors.

Castiel wasn’t quite sure what exactly they were doing. They were perched on the hood of their car, their home, a beer in hand each. Sam was reclined with his knees bent and his back resting against the windshield. Dean was seated on the edge of the hood, his boots propped on the bumper. Each of them had their faces turned heavenward.

Castiel simply watched them for a moment before copying the tilt of their heads and looking towards the sky. He couldn’t imagine what they could be staring at for so long. Perhaps this was some human ritual he was unaware of? The only thing remotely interesting about the night sky was the stars, but Castiel couldn’t see the appeal of staring at them for so long. In this spot, there were more than Castiel would expect in a more populated area, but the visible stars at that moment weren’t even a fraction as impressive as what they once were. Castiel remembered the Earth being near as bright as the hours that the sun were out even after it had gone down. He missed many of those stars.

He focused his attention back on the Winchesters. Sam looked about to be asleep, his eyes heavy and his breathing slow. Dean, however, looked awake, but more relaxed than Castiel had ever seen him. Even in the moments Castiel had come to him asleep in his bed he had been folded up, ready to spring into action any moment. Now he just looked pensive, and Castiel found himself wondering what he could be thinking about. It would be all too simple for him to find out, but he knew that Dean would consider it an invasion, a breach of trust. Castiel had come to value the Winchesters’ trust all too much.

For a fleeting moment, Castiel considered joining them in their ritual. He could stand again and make his way over to them, lean against their beloved car and study the stars. But he knew that his very presence would provoke a breach in the delicate peace that, for the moment, settled over the hunters. Far be it from Castiel to disturb this kind of peace.

His news could certainly wait until the morning. For now, Castiel flew off again, the image of Dean Winchester’s face glowing with starlight sticking with him for longer than he’d care to admit.

***********************************************************************************

Castiel would never get used to the ache on his back, the phantom sensation of his wings. He missed them terribly, and he often found himself rolling his shoulders to drive out the feeling that something was missing, that he was incomplete.

The first night Castiel was human, it rained. He slept outside, stolen hood up over his head, and he tried not to cry. He’d spoken to Dean, but he didn’t know how he was going to get to him. He didn’t think they’d be looking for him, as Dean had said Sam was hurt and in the hospital, and Castiel would be there if he could. He didn’t know why he was disappointed. Of course Dean would be more focused on his brother as he was on the edge of death. Castiel would, most likely, be fine. All he had to do was make it to the bunker and he would be safe.

He didn’t have the faintest idea how to get there.

At some point during the night, the rain let up. Frozen to the bone, Castiel glanced up. He had a clear view of the night sky, and something about it struck him, reminded him of a night long ago. Interestingly, things were simpler during the apocalypse. He didn’t mind feeling like an outsider among the hunters, and it was before he’d broken their trust. Too much had happened since the night that Castiel had found the Winchesters sitting and staring at the stars.

There had been more that night, he remembered. Though not as numerous as even 100 years prior, the stars in that field more than three years ago were certainly more plentiful than the ones he could see in the city. Them, they had not interested Castiel so much. Now, he couldn’t even look away. He could see Orion’s Belt and a few stars making up the Big Dipper, plus other constellations that he couldn’t name without more stars to see, and that was it, but still Castiel was entranced and saddened all the same. Once, he had been able to walk on those stars. Now, he could barely even see them.

Perhaps that was part of being human. Humans were so weak and powerless, and every night they were surrounded with sparkling lights they would never be able to reach. Humans were greedy, and throughout history had made it their mission to control everything they could, but the stars were untouchable to them, to Castiel now too, and it was maddening.

During the apocalypse, Castiel had fought to prevent it, but did not entirely believe in the fight. He’d asked Dean once why they were fighting so hard, when they could be helping the angels to achieve peace instead of continuing to live on this Earth, this cruel, cruel planet.

Dean hadn’t answered. But now Castiel thought maybe it had something to do with the fact that humanity hadn’t yet found its way to the stars.

***********************************************************************************

Castiel sighed absently, drawing Enochian symbols on the frost coating the window of the Impala. Next to him, Dean said nothing, but the silence was a comfortable one. Castiel enjoyed the rumble of the road beneath them, the soft music drifting through the speakers, the scenery rushing past in a dark blue blur. They’d begun their drive in the afternoon, and night had fallen hours ago. Still Dean refused to tell him where they were going.

Castiel wiped his sleeve against the window, wiping out the Enochian before Dean could ask what it meant. Castiel would tell him, of course, he always did, but he was sure Dean would be embarrassed by the answer.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that.” Dean broke the silence with a teasing tone and a grin, sparing a quick glance at Castiel before refocusing on the road.

“See what?” Castiel asked innocently.

“See you drawing on my window. What did it say?”

Castiel sighed. “Nothing.”

“Bull.”

Castiel humphed and gave him a reprimanding look, which just made Dean laugh. “Your name. How much I love you.”

And just as Castiel predicted, Dean blushed through his cheeks and ears and neck. But he was smiling. “I would call you a sap if I wasn’t about to pull something much sappier.”

“Which is?”

Dean said nothing, choosing instead to grin at Castiel again. Castiel just shook his head and fell back into their comfortable silence. It took them an hour yet to reach their destination, and surprisingly, it was one that Castiel recognized.

“I’ve been here before,” he said to Dean as they stepped out of the car. His face was already turned to the sky.

“Really?” Dean’s voice brought Castiel back to Earth. “When?”

It was Castiel’s turn to blush. “During the apocalypse. I had come to find you and Sam but you were watching the stars. You looked very peaceful and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Well then, I guess you have it all figured out,” Dean said as he crossed to the passenger’s side of the Impala, taking Castiel’s hands in each of his own.

Castiel tilted his head. “I don’t think I do.”

“Stargazing, Cas. We’re going to stargaze.”

“Is that what it’s called?” he muttered as he looked up once more.

“Mm-hmm,” Dean confirmed as he pressed a kiss to Castiel’s jaw. “Come on, I have blankets in the trunk.

Hours later, after Dean had fallen asleep against Castiel’s chest, the angel was still awake. They were lying on their backs and Castiel was still mapping out each constellations. He didn’t entirely understand the act of stargazing yet, but perhaps he could convince Dean to do this more often. Maybe one day he would understand his own fascination. It brought a kind of peace over him that he hadn't felt since he had nothing to do but sit in heaven and watch history unfold. 

He’d long known how the Winchesters loved the stars. He'd thought about it a lot over the years and laying with Dean under the stars, Castiel decided that maybe the stars were the most constant source of beauty that they had. They would not fade, not in Sam or Dean's lifespan, anyway.

Castiel dropped a kiss to Dean's forehead and rested his cheek on his head. Though he didn't need to, Castiel closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep under the blanket of stars. 


End file.
